| Asking for Directions or why didn't you say 'Farting Squirrel?' |
[Jul. 15th, 2005|09:30 am] |
Warning: the opinion expressed in the foregoing is purely subjective and from my own personal experience.
My Sacramento friend and I were on our way to Home Depot.
I had asked my husband for directions which were couched in what I call 'husband-speak'.
'Turn left on 8th Street, head towards Coquitlam, left at the railroad tracks, past IKEA, second left after Canadian Tire'.
Sounds simple, yes?
Everything went fine, except for one small glitch..there is NO Canadian Tire where I expected it to be..its on the left side of the freeway and of course was not seen by me, so there I was, looking for the Canadian Tire store and not finding it and merrily sifting along the freeway unable TO TURN AROUND!
Arrgh!
We finally got turned around, headed back and I was on the cellphone to my poor beleaguered husband, giving him a piece of my mind for misleading directions.
Here are the directions that should have been given in 'wife-speak'
'Go straight up the hill, turn right at the Military cutoff, continue to Holly's house, go past IKEA, second turnoff from the Farting Squirrel, and head towards the Chocolate Works.'
NOW that I would have understood and not gotten lost!
The Farting Squirrel reference comes from the shape of the Christmas lights that twinkle merrily on the side of the Canadian Tire building. I believe it is supposed to be the North Wind, puffing his cheeks and blowing clouds..but honestly it looks for all the world like a squirrel, head over shoulder looking back towards his tail from which emanate puffy clouds.
Last year, there were no lights on that side of Canadian Tire and I was sad.
Perhaps others had seen what I had seen and they had decided not to light it again.
I have half a mind to go to that store and plead with them to bring the Farting Squirrel back.
I really missed it last year and as you can see, its one of my LandMarks of Direction for getting to Home Depot.
SO THEREFORE...
BRING BACK THE FARTING SQUIRREL ..PLEASE! |
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| St Malo Brittany |
[Jul. 14th, 2005|10:31 am] |
Brittany Ferry arrives at St.Malo carrying a Canadian without a landing card!
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| Update on the Border and the Boy Scout |
[Jul. 13th, 2005|10:54 am] |
My friend devoid of his beloved tools, (he stashed them at his US motel) and now infinitely wiser as to the wiles and whims of our Border Patrol has MADE IT safe and sound to my door!
Score one for the Good Deeders out there!
Maybe my rant caught the ear of Border God or Goddess who had a decent breakfast, a good cup of coffee and was filled with the milk of human kindness and allowed my friend to come up for a visit.
Blessings on whoever he or she was!
Word to the wise: never volunteer more information than required.
Purpose of visit?
VISITING! |
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| Brittany Ferries or Landing Card? What Landing Card? |
[Jul. 13th, 2005|10:01 am] |
'The further you are from England, the nearer you are to France'
It was a beautiful start to the May 1st Bank Holiday weekend.
Four of us were going to Brittany for four days - two gents from the UK and a lovely Irish woman with yours truly, the lone Canadian.
I was looking forward to it - a twelve hour trip from Portsmouth UK to St Malo Brittany on board one of the Brittany Ferries.
Right..up we come to the window to hand in our reservation sheet - and the lady in the booth says
'Passports please'.
We hand them over: two EU passports, one Irish, one Canadian.
They are quickly scanned then handed back and we are waved on.
Wow..I thought to myself..that was easy.
Too easy it turns out.
On the return, we drive off the Ferry at Portsmouth, again hand over our passports.
CONSTERNATION!
There is a duckling among the swans!
That damn Canadian passport - what to do ?
We are at the booth, there is a line up of cars behind us coming off the ferry, and we are holding things up.
Male UK Passport official to the group: waving my passport and saying 'whose passport is this?"
"Mine"I answer from the front seat.
"Where is your landing card?"
"Pardon?"
"L*A*N*D*I*N*G Card?"
"I handed that in at Heathrow Airport when I *L*A*N*D*E*D"
Now even more CONSTERNATION ensues.
My passport is whisked away back to the booth and then a landing card is thrust at me.
"Here, fill this out"
"OK" I say and dutifully fill it out.
Meanwhile the cars are piling up behind us.
A few minutes later a rather apologetic female passport control officer comes up to the vehicle with my passport in hand and hands it back to me saying,
"Sorry for the delay, we couldn't find the entry stamp!"
Apparently I am a first for the books.
They are so used to EU and UK passport holders going back and forth that it never occured to them that another National might want to travel with a group of UK and Irish friends to visit Brittany via their wonderful Ferries!
So now I know.
Word to the wise: if you are going to travel on from the UK to rest of Europe, make sure to grab a bunch of landing cards at Heathrow just in case you run up against this ridiculous and outdated piece of bureaucratic machinery. |
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| The Border and the Boy Scout |
[Jul. 12th, 2005|10:33 pm] |
I had hoped to start blogging without resorting to the usual rants I have seen other people do, but then again, where else can one let loose with their feelings, especially if a friend has been done dirt to?
My friend and I had been planning his trip to BC for months.
He was supposed to arrive from Sacramento today.
He did.
I got a call from a very nice lady at Canada Border patrol asking me if I was expecting anyone?
Yes..and told her the name, where I had met him, how long I had known him and the purpose of his visit.
My friend being the Boy Scout that he is, did not lie, but had glibly told them
the purpose of the visit - helping to build some shelves for me and assemble a closet.
The reason for his generous offer of help?
My husband has kidney failure and every three weeks I get forty some odd boxes of supplies delivered to our bedroom.
My friend was going to help build or put up shelves to store them and enlarge my closet space.
All for free, on his own dime.
WRONG! wrong wrong wrong.
Gee and wouldn't you know? They found TOOLS in his truck..imagine that.
They turned him back at the border.
Gosh knows, we have to protect Canadian shelf builders and closet assemblers from mean nasty American job takers like my friend, who out of the goodness of his heart was coming up here to do a good deed.
Yes I agree, he was not thinking when he brought his tools with him and he certainly did not think when questioned by our friendly folks at the Border.
Still, should the current fall out and tit for tat Border games come down to this?
I guess it does.
According to Canada Border Patrol: NO Good Deed goes unpunished. |
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